How The City "Changed" Me

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

   
Actually, I think "changed" should be rephrased. In a general sense, I have certainly changed since I moved to New York City, but I would like to think of it more as blooming, or shedding of a confining layer that was less like the self I felt I truly was deep down.



       Before I first arrived in New York for good, I had very, very long hair, wore only black (essentially from head to toe), and went to the gym incessantly. I'm not sure what kind of person this description paints exactly, but that about sums past-me up. I was trying to emulate a city slicker, while living in the middle of nowhere. I was more concerned how I came off to people than the idea that I was actually being myself. "A city girl wears black. If it's not black put it back. All the models have long hair." I was actually playing it safer than I realized. Looking back, not being myself, and thinking about these concerns made me a much less (at least externally) interesting person.

       New York is one of the fashion capitals of the world, we all know this, but being such is not what primarily contributed to my change in style and attitude (I'd say I've become a lot tougher, thank you very much). It's simply been because of how BUSY everyone is. In a small town, there is time to concern yourself with others and little details in their lives. Here though, no one has time for that! This SPECIFICALLY follows into what you wear. No one pays attention to you, so you can wear whatever you want! No one is going to double take your huge-ass hat or your weird loafers!

       Because the worry of what people will think of you, like in a small town, is shed, you are suddenly overcome by a desire to throw all your old, dull clothing away (or trade it for new clothes at buffalo exchange, what?!) and revamp your wardrobe exactly in the way you've always wanted (On a budget tho. The rent is expensive, people!). You finally can cut your hair all off without anyone questioning your judgment. "I get to dress like in Mad Men now!" You think to yourself, or maybe that's just me. Anyway, the only way to shine is to be your complete self here.


       Back to the time constraint topic. Another huge way in which I've "blossomed" is that I have learned not to do anything I don't want to do, or spend time with anyone who is not completely worth my undivided attention. There are millions of people and opportunities here. You have much more room to control your schedule in these ways. I haven't changed the kinds of people I like, on the inside, I've just learned to say no to people who don't quite fit.


       Also, big thing: Everyone is struggling and has their own story, here and everywhere, so don't judge.

       All of this, though, is just how the city affected me. If you can learn to embrace your inner self where you already are, then you are just a stronger person in that sense! Good! Everyone has their own "New York," and this just happens to be mine. Anyone else have interesting city, life-changing, experiences?



23 comments :

  1. I appreciate this post! I think it's really great that you've been able to identify more with yourself in a fast-paced city like NYC. I've never been to NY but I think most people don't realise how difficult it must be in a big city to find yourself when there's so much going on and everything comes and goes in a single new york minute

    I love that you're so brave and you've been able to find a new state of grace, I look forward to all of your new posts to come!

    ReplyDelete
  2. This post was a breath of fresh air. I visited New York last month for my first time and I felt completely inspired; I was instantly struck in awe. The energy of the city is a whirlwind; crazy, overwhelming, yet refreshing. Coming from the laid-back, warm city of San Diego, I was in a state of culture shock. However, I couldn't help but feel like I was in a place I was destined to be. Someday I hope to move to the city to pursue a career in fashion communication. Would you be willing to write a post providing advice/tips on how to afford living in one of the world's most expensive cities as a low-income young adult? (i.e.: What neighborhoods are the most reasonably priced to live in? How do you feed yourself healthy, nutritious meals on a budget? What are your favorite stores/places to buy clothing? How do you maintain a social life (going out) on an allowance?)

    I'm really enjoying your posts! It's nice to discover a fashion/beauty blog that also includes history and life advice/experiences by someone as beautiful and intelligent as you. Keep it up and continue to post frequently please!! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes I'll think of how to write something related to that :) Thank you!

      Delete
  3. What made you decide to move to New York? I know that you live with Cole, Bree, and Dylan as you've said before but was it that you felt you and him needed to take that next step? How long have you been together if you don't mind me asking? I give you props for uprooting your life and moving to the big city. That takes an incredible amount of courage. Would you ever make a post about your friends in the city or "a day in the life" sort of thing. Like what do you usually do on a typical Sunday? Also, could you make a post about religion?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I love this post because that is what I hoping to do if I were to move to NewYork or Boston..I'm from texas like 5 min from the border of Mexico lol and now go to Texas A&M university which is a HUGE university but with a small town feel cause of all the country people that go here lol and I want to dress like in mad men! I have so much great outfits in my closet that I never where during the week cause everyone just assumes oh "you have an interview?" Or "what's the occasion" and I wanna say uhh it's just a Tuesday �� haha I visited NY this summer and something really bad happened to me (with a "friend") long story but despite what happened I think back now how I got to bust out all my outfits everyday and I felt like a native, beautiful and a real newyorker so I'm hoping to go to grad school there next fall! I imagine my self becoming a "more badass" version of myself ...for me and not having to care what people think and now that I read that you felt like you have blossomed, Im more excited to graduate. And it's actually funny cause I currently have long hair and dress in black head to toe haha but anyways that's awesome for you that you're loving live in NY!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They say everyone should live in New York for a little while. I say try! Austin is beautiful though I love it there :)

      Delete
    2. Oh no I wish I lived in Austin I love it there! But I go to school in College Station which is in the middle of no where ..even tho living in texas, you're always living in the middle of no where haha...but yea I'm going to try to move to NY and if it doesn't work out Austin is where it's at :)

      Delete
  5. I loved this post. I could relate to it so much. I also come from a small town, approximately 3,000 people live in it. So when I had the opportunity to visit NYC for my 10th birthday I went without hesitation & I just knew that is where I belonged. I felt so confortable & happy. Just as you said I felt like I wasn't judged. I have gone to NYC every year since and plan on moving there for good in a year for grad school. After visiting NYC from one to two times a year I can say I have brought the style of being yourself back with me. I chopped off my hair & I dress like I am going to a professional job almost everyday. At first I hated doing it because everyone was staring at me but now I feel so much more comfortable being myself. So that's how visiting NYC has changed me, for the better. I can't image what other ways it will change me when I finally get to live there. x

    ReplyDelete
  6. This post is great!! I'm so happy you've "bloomed" ,and Yes! I've changed since I moved in this house for two years now.I will write a story later on my new blog,if i find the time c:

    ReplyDelete
  7. I completely agree! I'm from the UK and originally I lived in a smaller city called Manchester (well known for its football, you guys call it soccer) I moved to London, our capital and also a fashion capital for uni.
    After moving here I also found myself changing, becoming "London". I was able to start dressing however I liked, doing whatever I liked without thinking of what other people might say and the great thing is once I changed it didn't necessarily mean I would have to stick to it.
    Rent's also expensive here, however you could find a great place for cheap, you just need to keep a good eye out.
    My style was very black, grey or navy, so dark colours in general. Moving here made me come out of my shell and experience more colours. I also give credit for my work, I work part time at Kate Spade and that place just projects colour! Guess I could say its rubbed off on me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know why but living in London working at Kate Spade sounds so lovely! Like Scarlett Johansson in Match Point. +You should read Shopgirl by Steve Martin :)

      And you're right. Living in the city doesn't have to be expensive if you're smart. xx

      Delete
  8. I found this post so interesting! I actually posted something on my blog yesterday with a very similar point. I have been in the city for a little while now (for school), and in the short amount of time I have been here I have blossomed into this independent person with unique qualities and, thankfully, a much tougher outer shell.
    Before NYC, my personality consisted of contrasting, more superficial characteristics that I picked up along the way because of latest trends or trying to impress someone. I feel like a much more complete package now, whereas before I was suffering through multiple identity crises.
    The city, as well as growing up and experiencing true independence, really sets up a great platform for self discovery. I have also found the people to be extremely influential. As much as it is embarrassing to admit... I found you through Instagram a while back while creeping on your boyfriend (I was a big "Sprouse twin fanatic" back in the beginning of the Suite Life). After finding your page, though, I was inspired (by your confidence and style) to do some of my own soul searching.
    But all in all, I'm glad I was not the only one who went through this... and it was really interesting to here your experience.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh I'm sorry.. one more thing! You mentioned rent and I currently live in dorms on the uws near Lincoln Center and Central Park (I totally wish I could afford to live in this area when I move into an apartment but yeah right)... but I am looking into moving and the transition is so hard! If you have any advice on a reasonably priced area, or literally anything else that you think could help, that would be incredibly appreciated!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Looking through your blog (this post especially) has inspired me so much. I'm in the process of "finding my true self" and nothing makes me happier than seeing other people who have done the same. It is a wonderful thing to get to the point where you realize that no one cares what you do or wear. Though I am still struggling with the urge to cut all of my hair off but I don't think I'm that comfortable (yet).

    ReplyDelete
  11. I think moving off to any new exciting place will cause you to shed the weight of your old self but in a good way. I guess I'm trying to say its good to go somewhere new and blossom that's why traveling is so important to me. I hope one day I get to experience this :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. This story is so inspiring!!! I life is a small city to. And i always wanted to see more of the world, it's like i'm living in a box right now. And the most important thing is that i wanna do things that i can't do here. But i'm only 18 years old and it's kinda scary to move to an other country. that makes things complicated. But i know one day i'll follow my dreams

    ReplyDelete
  13. I 100% can relate to this post! Even down to the small details such as 'dressing in black and long hair'. I've lived in London my whole life but never ventured very far. i would wear black everyday and I wanted my hair to be long because 'that's just what girls do' But about a year and a half ago i decided i needed to take advantage of the city i live in and I've become a new person as a result. I've gained so much confidence in general but also within my self. I've started wearing skirts, dresses, blouses! and I'm even thinking of cutting my long hair to a bob in the new year!

    ReplyDelete

LEATHER PETAL

By Dayna Frazer

FOLLOW ON INSTAGRAM

@DaynaFrazer